Escape [Summer]

[summerrain]

Summer gazed at Dareynn, seeing him pull a pocket knife out of his pocket... she watched, unable to move, as he flipped it open and dug the tip into his arm. "What are you doing?" she asked suddenly. "NO. Don't do that."

"A lot has happened to me," he said... "It doesn't hurt anymore." She watched, mesmerized, as the blade cut through his forearm to his elbow. The slice began to turn red, and then a line of blood slowly dripped out. Summer could see that he purposefully and intentionally made sure not to hit any major vessels; obviously he knew what he was doing, and where to and not to cut. But still, the blood ran.

Sighing, Summer placed her hand on his arm, after gently taking the knife from him, and bowed her head with her eyes closed. A warmth tingled from her fingers and into his arm; it wasn't hot, just merely... pleasant. White light glowed around her hand on his arm... and she pulled away, looking. "There," she said, satisfied. She had healed the cut, and it had left no scar. "You should have had me around before, for the others," she told Dareynn sadly. "I get what you mean now... about your step-father making you do it. I get it. Dareynn... please..." Summer shuddered, her wings trembling with her emotion. "This is not a good thing. I know what you're doing." She looked at him sternly. "There are two ways to deal with emotional and mental pain," she told him, narrowing her eyes. "One is to do it your way- try to release the pain physically, trying to forget the hurt you have on the inside by hurting yourself on the outside. I KNOW this. Would you believe I started to, sadistically, enjoy when people ripped my wings out of my back? It was almost better than the looks, the stares, the taunts... everything. Physical pain can heal so much better. BUT!!! It is the wrong way."

She continued. "The other way to deal," she said softly, placing her hand on his, "is to do it the way I did. I took combat class," she said smugly. "I can flip a karate or jujitsu or kung-fu champ in two seconds, no problem. I chose to work off my anger and hurt... use it for something productive, instead of something DESTRUCTIVE. But I'm not going to tell you what to do..." she looked intently into his face, placing her hands on his cheeks. "I will only tell you what would please me to see you do."

[cujo]

Dareynn started to protest when Summer took his knife, but the warmth from her hand made him forget what he was doing. He normally felt so cold... The warmth felt nice for a change. When she withdrew her hand and started to lecture him, he scowled. 'Don't lecture me, I'm not an infant,' he thought, turning his head away.

When she mentioned a combat class, he looked at her again. By the time she had finished speaking, her hands were on either side of his face. "I taught myself Judo," he replied. He reached up and grabbed her hand unconciously, intending to toss her over his shoulder like she was a fly. He'd tossed football players like that before; of course, they were heavier and took more effort, but he'd done it. (And right after that one of the guy's friends had smacked his head into a wall and knocked him out, but still... He'd thrown him pretty far.)

The way Summer was looking at him made Dareynn reconsider throwing her; she was just trying to help him. Anthony had tried to help him, too; he'd never gotten mad at Anthony for trying to help. But then again, Anthony had never tried very hard; he knew Dareynn inside out. He knew Dareynn wasn't stupid enough to kill himself; besides, if things had ever gotten too out of hand, Dareynn had snuck out the window and over to Anthony's house.

There wasn't anywhere for him to escape to here; he felt trapped. He let his hand drop and lowered his eyes as they welled up with tears. Did he really want to do this to himself? He wasn't sure anymore. He knew he was only second-guessing himself because of this girl; the second he was alone, he wouldn't doubt his reasoning for harming himself.

[/color]

[summerrain]

"Dareynn..." Summer said quietly, looking pointedly at him as he grabbed her hand. "I know what you think you want to do. Don't," she warned him. "I'd have you pinned flat before you could manage to do anything to me." She sighed deeply. Obviously this boy had more emotional and mental scars than anyone had ever dared to explore before. Until now, that is; she would probe gently, she decided, withdrawing when she hit a raw nerve, healing where she could...

Dareynn dropped his hand, but she took it and held it in her own in her lap. "Dareynn, you don't want me to leave, do you." It was more of a statement than a question. "I don't have to, you know. I can follow you wherever you go, and make you forget; you won't ever have to be alone. I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore, and I know that as soon as you're out of my sight you will. Well, you'll think about it at least."

"I care about you, Dareynn," she said. "I don't want to see you in pain, whether it's physical, emotional, mental... why do you think I healed you? I think... somehow... fate has thrown us together for your sake. I certainly hope I can help you- but only if you want me to. I can get up and walk away right now if you tell me to. I won't look back, but if you do tell me to leave, you can know that I'll always be thinking of you and wondering about you. Or, you can have me stay, and I will be your friend. Your closest friend, one like you've never had. It's up to you; the choice is yours."

Summer looked at him expectantly. She reached up a hand to wipe away the tears that had sprung up in his eyes, never judging; hey, boys can cry too. It was perfectly acceptable to her.

[cujo]

Dareynn let her take his hand, trying to ignore what she said. A few people had said they wanted to help him; they had just hurt him more. He didn't want to go through something like that again.

To him, the only way he could live with the least ammount of pain was to shove everyone away. "I am who I am." He withdrew his hand from hers, almost wishing he hadn't. The chill that replaced her warmth was uncomfortable and too familiar; he wanted something comforting. Forcing himself to move, telling himself he needed to do this, he stood. "I've had a friend. He's not here anymore."

The second the words came out of his mouth he regretted it; she would want to know more about Anthony now. In telling her, he'd have to admit...he liked him. Just thinking about it made his lips tingle; Anthony had kissed him before he had been forced to move away. Both of them had been shocked, and hadn't spoken to each other since then. But Dareynn knew how he felt, now. He hadn't then; he'd been confused, wondering why his closest friend had kissed him like he was some girl.

But he got it now...

Instead of walking away like he had intended to, Dareynn leaned against the wall, pursing his lips.

[/color]

[summerrain]

Summer scowled at Dareynn- something totally uncharacteristic for the side of her she'd shown him so far. As he stood, he told her the line she'd heard over and over again... "I am who I am." Yeah, she thought bitterly. Like anyone can ever be anyone else.

But she looked at him with curiosity as he said something else, about a friend who wasn't there anymore... Summer decided to leave it alone. There seemed to be quite a bit of hurt and confusion there, and she wouldn't press the matter unless Dareynn wanted to talk to her about it. And she was nothing if not gracious...

"Well, Dareynn, you should be quite pleased with yourself, then," she told him. She was glad he hadn't left. "You have successfully driven away every person in your life who has ever cared. I applaud you; you evidently even managed to get rid of the people who had the potential to love you but didn't get the chance- otherwise you'd have had more than one friend." She knew she should stop, but... she couldn't. It was like an unseen force, driving her on. Maybe, though... maybe he'd finally GET IT. He'd finally see that there was hope in the world, as long as he allowed it to take root in his own heart.

"I am who I am too, Dareynn," she said more softly. "But that's only because I changed who I WAS. Would you believe that, not so long ago, I was very similar in personality as you?" she said with a wry smile. "Well, believe it, because it's true. However, there was one thing that made the difference."

[cujo]

Summer's harsh words hit Dareynn like bullets; with each sentence, he looked more downtrod, each driving him closer to tears. He sank to the floor slowly, arms still wrapped around his torso. He turned his head away from Summer when he couldn't take it anymore; tears streamed down his face relentlessly, making his eyes sting and his vision blur.

It was true, what she said; most of it, anyway. He hadn't driven away Anthony. Had there not been a few countries, a sea, and almost half the world between them, he'd be there. Would my father be here? he wondered, the thought striking him almost as hard as what Summer had said. No, he didn't want me. He'd be disappointed; he'd hate me. He'd wish I was dead. He'd wish I never existed.

Had Summer not been there, he would have pulled out his pocket knife again. She'd probably just heal him again if he did anything. He felt like cutting out his own heart, slitting his own throat; nobody was around to care if he lived or died. His mom didn't even care anymore. She never had. She never wanted a kid. Neither did his step-father. That was why he was here.

He didn't even know where they were. Had his mom and step-father moved back to New Orleans without him? Had they left him here, alone, without anyone he knew well and trusted? They wouldn't leave him here when they went home, not when they knew he loved it there, would they?

Yes, they would, Dareynn realized, the realization sending a sickening, aching pang deep into the pit of his stomach. He sobbed unintentionally, leaning forward. He almost felt like he was going to be sick, it hurt so much.

Nothing had ever hurt this bad, ever; not when he'd tripped and stabbed himself, not when his step-father hit him or forced him to cut himself. Not even when he'd had to leave without saying goodbye to Anthony.

His shoulders shook roughly as another sob racked through his scrawny body, tears still streaming down his cheeks. Why couldn't they just let him die?

[/color]

[summerrain]

"Dareynn."

Summer spoke to him as he sobbed. Then she did something she didn't usually do as a rule. Tentatively, Summer lowered the barriers in her conscious mind and reached out with her consciousness. She felt Dareynn's mind spark; she could almost taste it. He was an intriguing boy. His aura was a deep purple, almost black; it spoke of his hurt and abuse, and as she delved through the layers, she saw more and more of what made him up. Abandonment... feelings of low self-esteem, low self-worth... the sense that no one cared...

"I can feel what you're feeling now, you know," she told him quietly. "My wings aren't the only unique thing about me. Dareynn... please don't do this to yourself. You ARE worth it. I do care about you. Every human life is sacred, and you are no exception. If there are some who do not love you, that is their problem- although, I will say that you do not help the issue by closing yourself off from everyone."

Summer took his hand again and stared at him in earnest. "Do you want to be loved, Dareynn? Do you want to be wanted?" She leaned forward and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Do you want the pain to go away?"

[cujo]

Dareynn let Summer wipe the tears from his cheeks, part of his mind wondering why his mother had never done that for him. Weren't they supposed to care about their children? If they were, he'd never seen anything resembling a kind, caring person when speaking to his mother. She'd always been indifferent, not caring when he got good grades or did chores for her without being asked to.

Despite all that, the only thing that let him know he was still alive was pain. The stinging sensation it sent through his veins, the coppery-tasting blood that streamed from his own body. How could he just let that go?

How could this girl ask him to?

She said she understood. But did she, really? "I..." He didn't know how to respond. Part of him was screaming yes, another screaming no. The most dominate feeling, though, was uncertainty.

He had no idea what he wanted to do.